i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
