when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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