Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
