I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
