Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize