I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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