He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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