10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
