They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
