I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
should my penis look like a turkey
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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