And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
