if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
