Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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