Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
