I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
