saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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