my vag is so smooth its legendary
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
