Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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