Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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