You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
