so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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