We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
