She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
