I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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