shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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