I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
ttyl tear gas
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
