I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
