He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
