you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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