I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
