Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
