So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
