Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
