I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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