Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
