I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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