Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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