Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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