Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
