Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
