Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
