Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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