so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
