You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Don't make out with my wife yet
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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