Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
