the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
