It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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