Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
