I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
