We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
