You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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