We're like a lot better than the average bears
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
