Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
