I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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