Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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