How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
