is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
