she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
