I don't think brook has ever known best
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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