Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
