so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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