He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
