Its about making memories worth repressing
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
