So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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