on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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