So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
