North Korea, Best Korea!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
