Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize