Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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