i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
