My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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