...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
