My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
