she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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